Friday, March 14, 2014

About the B Word...

It's no secret that I went to law school. And if you know me in real life, it's also no secret that I have a slight potty mouth.

BUT. There is one word that I don't like or say (unless I'm repeating a conversation I've heard.)

(You can thank that qualifying statement to law school.)

And it's exactly the word you're thinking about: B****

The times I've heard that word used are never in a kind manner (obviously) and typically towards a female.

If you're up with the latest news cycle, Sheryl Sandberg from Facebook, Beyonce, and the Girl Scouts are making quite the buzz with a movement known as the Ban Bossy movement.

I've spent the morning reading all manner of articles for and against this movement. Not surprisingly, most anti-ban bossy movement articles are written by men.

And here's why that is frustrating for me. Until a man physically becomes a woman, he cannot be in her shoes.

Like I mentioned above, I went to law school. After law school comes the part where I'm actually a practicing attorney. And the legal world is still one of those places where there are men who think women have no business being there.

And do you know how I know that is? Because I've been called bossy and the other ugly word on occasion in law school and also when practicing.

Before I went to law school, I worked in a legal setting. One of the lessons I learned was that female attorneys have to walk a fine line between being a lady and being assertive. The reason they have to be that way is because there are still old men and some young men who think we don't belong. And if we aren't assertive on occasion, those men I just talked about will use it as an opportunity to walk all over me and other female attorneys I've had the privilege of observing in action.

When I and other female attorneys were called bossy, it was NOT meant as a compliment. It was meant as a nice way of calling us the ugly word. Plain and simple. Put the same words we said in our mouths from a man and he would have been a zealous advocate.

Have I seen bossy people before in action? Yes. But I don't call them bossy. I call them abrasive, demeaning, condescending, and/or rude. Because that is what being bossy is in the literal sense of the word.

Being bossy is not having a plan and executing it.
Being bossy is not being assertive on behalf of a client.

Banning bossy is about not using certain words towards women only.

Rant. Over.


Happy Friday!

1 comment:

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

I really love this post. I find myself so engrossed in all this because having two daughters it disturbs me severely that they're going to fight this same stupid gender battle--and I want better for them. This is such a real issue and until people OPEN UP their eyes about the fact that women are still being treated poorly and lowly compared to men OFTEN, it won't change. If people went back to the true definition of 'feminist' versus this made up "men hating/bashing thing", I think there'd be more of them. "For women"? You betcha. I'm a feminist and proud of it. ;) I love ban bossy. love it.

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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