Monday, July 11, 2011

Parents need to get a hold of their children.

There are lots of great debates within the blogging world about child-rearing policies. Most of them however, have to do with what to do with the kids when they initially arrive aka when they're babies. In fact, the debates start even before the kids are born. They also happen to be very polarizing.

For example:
  • Natural childbirth v. Medicated births-Most people go one way or the other. I think that for me, I'm more interested in natural childbirth. I used to not even consider it an option. Now I don't know what will actually happen when it's time for me to be serious, but it definitely has me thinking.
  • CIO v. Co-Sleeping- I am personally intrigued by CIO. I have no interest whatsoever in co-sleeping. I'm afraid something or someone would sleep too wild. Further, I was and am deathly afraid of the dark. I attribute a lot of this fear to sleeping with my parents too long. A child sleeping in their own bed is a good thing. 
  • Breastfeeding v. Formula- I don't know what I'll wind up doing. I'll be honest. Twins are in almost every generation of my family on my dad's side which are the set of genes that are prominent in me. So there is a good shot. Maybe if I pump, I could still do it. But the way y'all talk about the pain, I doubt I can do it.
    • Breastfeeding in Public- A sub-topic of this matter is always will the person breastfeed in public. I can tell you that I won't. I am too modest for it. Plus I think some people cross the line on this sometimes. There is a time and a place. Banks, courthouses, weddings, and official occasions where people you don't know are in attendance are not those places. More on this later.
  • Vaccines v. Delayed Vaccines- My mom has been a school teacher for over 25 years and she has seen and had all types of students. My children will have the shots and it will be while we're at the hospital, but I'm not sure when it will be.
  • Circumcision v. No Circumcision-My son will be circumcised. End of discussion.
  • Daycare v. SAHM- SAHM isn't an option for me. I want to be an attorney, and that means my babies will be watched by someone. 
All of the above are choices that each mom and dad have to make for their families. Why they make these decisions are their business and should not be up for discussion other than those two people.

But what about when the babies grow up? The biggest debates there are:

  • TV v. No TV- I think that in moderation it's alright.
  • Discipline? We believe in it.
  • Food? I'm speaking more towards sweets and pop and how early is too early. I happen to think that a kid shouldn't be exposed to pop until at least 2nd grade and even then I'm talking about sprite or orange pop. 
EDITED TO ADD:
  • VIDEO GAMES:I really want to hold off on the video games until 5th grade if possible. I really plan on pushing sports and reading. In fact I'll start reading to them the day they come home. 
  • Tv in the bedroom: I think is appropriate for a teenager with certain controls in place like how much/how often, what they can watch, etc.  
  • Movies-I'll let the kids see movies when they're old enough. PG-13 so 13, R requires 17 years of age.  
  • CELL PHONES: Cell phone probably when they hit junior high. They'll be kids who have activities that may on occasion end early and won't have a car.
  • Driving: No passengers in the car until they've been driving on their own for 6 months with the exception of siblings. 
  • Sex/Drugs/Rock 'N Roll Talk: when they go through certain phases of adolescence, they'll get information. I believe that in today's society you can maintain childhood while be open with kids.
    But the one that seems to get lost in the fray is manners.

    Children can learn at very early ages what is acceptable and not acceptable for appropriate behavior in public.

    My husband's job is placed in a very historic building. When I go by to pick him up for lunch I try to always look presentable. It's just one of those places, where people conduct themselves in a manner like they used to...

    Anyway, there is a lady who came in there one of the days that I was there with four kids ranging from 7, 4, 1 1/2 and newborn.

    In short, she had her hands full.

    But it wasn't because the kids were brats.

    It was because while she decided to breastfeed in the lobby, she let her kids run amuck.

    Now I get that kids by nature don't necessarily know what quiet voices are. In fact, that part didn't bother me at all.

    What bothered me is that she proceeded to let her children run up and down the stairs, one almost escaped because he was busy slamming the handicapped door button and  had no cause for concern other than exposing her boob to the lobby. She commented how nice it was to be out of the house and to just enjoy some time with her baby.

    WELL WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM??

    I realize that I just wrote this whole post about child rearing preferences and how they are personal and private decisions.

    I also took into account that she had four kids.

    But you know what? She chose to have those four kids.

    And manners are not something that should be up for debate.

    They should know how to behave.

    And let's not talk about how her child was sucking her boob for the world to see. I realize there are a lot of people who are pro-public breastfeeding. But you know I seem to gather from your tweets and posts that when you're in public doing this, you seem to cover yourself. Some even find bathrooms if available.

    The point is that you maintain a level of modesty.

    You have self-awareness and respect for those who might disagree with your choice. 
     
    So I just want to know when did it become okay for manners to fly out the door and for parents to basically let other people worry about the children they chose to bring into this world?

    Anyone??

    I'm sorry for my rant, but simple manners and common sense go a long way in my book.

    So does making sure you don't have to chase your child across the store because you think it's funny they've run away from you.

    Happy Monday.

    5 comments:

    Susannah said...

    Uh-greed. On this whole post. Seriously! That is all. ;)

    Lil' Woman said...

    There has been alot of discussions on the blogs lately about child bearing and rearing. I agree on most of your points but I whole heartedly agree with the manners.

    Bad manners are inexcusable and if parents don't teach them early it will only get harder to control later. We've had problems with my nephew and it's difficult now that he's 4 but it's better now than having a rotten kid/teenager later.

    brown eyed girl said...

    Agreed. Seriously. I hate seeing parents not trying when their children are misbehaving. Granted, children will run amuck, do stupid things, and push the envelope. But the parents who stand around, doing nothing, acting like they haven't a care in the world, that. boils. my. blood. I don't think twice about the child screaming and their parent shushing them, genuinely trying to discipline them. It's the ones who just stand there.

    Now that I'm all good and worked up, what about video games vs. no video games, and tv's in the bedroom? Those are the recent discussions we've had!

    Megan said...

    It is SO hard to be around kiddos who are ill-mannered. I feel like times that I'm around bad kids it is God showing me that we need to stay on our game as parents cause THIS could be the end result. I shudder. And I don't do CIO but we also don't do co-sleeping. Those are two seperate things to me. And I have surprised myself at the places I have breastfed. I never thought I would do it in front of family but I do - but ALWAYS with a cover. I've never done it in front of anybody other than Luke without a cover. Sick.

    Laura said...

    Well said, my friend.

    Also, I did not know there was a possibility of twins. Well, you know, a decent possibility. Does this excite you/make you nervous?

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