Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My doggy is high maintenance...

A friend of ours is watching Paisley this weekend for us. I sent her an email emails about her needs.

Ha...let's just say that Paisley is a bit of a spoiled brat.

The first email went like this...

Dear Biffle,

As far as Paisley is concerned....

Food: I'll bring her food and bowls for you. Since she'll be staying with you, she gets two cups of food a day. This can be done at two separate time or at once, but you have to let her eat just one cup at a time otherwise she'll choke herself. She's a little pig with a bad upper torso. She gets one-three full water bowls a day.

On going outside: Her royal highness usually is very particular and yet very random about where she poops. She likes tall grass here recently, but that may change depending on her mood. She's always on a leash. She usually goes to the door when she needs to go and sits. We use the words, "potty", "bathroom" and "outside" and she usually shifts her body in excitement. She needs to go usually about 30 minutes to an hour after she eats or drinks. She always goes first thing in the morning and we take her out at night before bed just for good measure.

Bedtime: She sleeps with us. But if she pisses us off or we haven't been able to sleep well, she sleeps in her kennel. So if you want her to sleep with you, or in the kennel, either is fine.

Her tricks are: sit, shake, lay down and high-five.

I can't think of any quirks off the top of my head right now, other than she'll probably lick Buddy's wing-wanger. Oh wait, I remember...she eats toilet paper and dirty panties. She also will clean unattended plates and chip bags. She has to sniff everyone, but once she's done she has no problem with you.

Discipline: we swat her on the nose. She tries to turn her head when we do this, so you usually have to grab her by the collar. Also a clear indicator that she's done something she shouldn't is her ears lay down.

I think that's about it.



On the way home, the quirks started rolling into my head. So, I did what any neurotic parent of a single doggy does good doggy momma does, I wrote another email...

Okay the quirks are coming to me now. She can't have grapes or chocolate. Usually when she wants to snuggle with you and you're using a blanket she likes to be under the blanket.
She loves popcorn.
She doesn't get scared in storms but hates to go potty/poop in the rain. Usually though you can count on her getting her business done quickly.
She likes to drink out of the tub.

Okay...I think that's all. Clearly you can tell Paisley is a spoiled little doggy.

Then I remembered one last thing.

Okay I lied. Because of the type of doggy she is, we usually don't try to get her overheated bc her body has a much harder time cooling down than the average dog does.

And then like lightning it hit me, I needed one last thing to happen. But before I could encourage my neurotic self in this OCD endeavor I got a return email.

Hahahah!! You are a nervous doggy mama like me! Thanks for typing it all out...you know we have mush for brains! This way I can't forget! I'm glad she is staying with us or I would have super anxiety every time I opened the door. Our dogs have been angels lately but I still get nervous leaving them alone.

I'll send you photo updates, of course. And I'm sure Buddy won't have a problem getting help cleaning his wing-wanger!

Whew! I'm gonna get my fill of Pais this weekend after all.

What about y'all? Do you spoil your doggies like I do?

Happy Tuesday!


Brittany Ann said...

The first time I left Marv with a friend, I wrote a small novel. More proof I'm neurotic.

Lil' Woman said...

I did the same thing when I left Mia with a friend while we were on vacay. I typed and printed out multiple "Taking Care of Mia" papers and hung them on the fridge.....she thought I was crazy.

Gina said...

As a dog-sitter,I LOVE lists like yours. :)

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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