Friday, April 15, 2011

Alone on a Friday night...

Hi all,

So I survived round two of finals. I have lots to catch up on and lots to tell too.

There are 496 unread posts in my reader. I am really tempted to click the read all option, but I have a feeling that it would not in my best interest as it seems your lives have been just as busy as mine.

So let's get to it shall we?

First things first, if you don't follow me on the Twitter or Facebook, my Grannie past from this life a week ago today.

I'd like to take the time to talk about her for a bit.

My Grannie was quite the opinionated woman. She said what was on her mind and sometimes it could be startling. But she also cared deeply about her family, sometimes to a fault. She was a high school graduate that married my Pappaw shortly after he returned from WWII. They had my dad and aunt in the fifties and lived a modest life. (I'll talk about my Pappaw a bit too because their story kinda goes together naturally.) They made sure that my dad and aunt made it to church regularly and to this day, my dad and aunt have a very rigid line of wrong versus right. This doesn't always come along with being a Christian. My dad and aunt were first generation college graduates and my grandparents although seldom mentioned, were very proud of them for this. My Pappaw was the type of Pappaw that made every grand-kid feel like they were his favorite. If there is someone I wish that Loren and Will had the opportunity to know, it would have been him. He is probably the finest example of what a pappaw or grandfather should be like. He loved all of us unconditionally and made sure we knew it. We knew only love from him. He passed a year before my parents found out that they were pregnant with Loren and Will. I think they are his piece of heaven to us to never take life for granted.

My Grannie carried on and continued to make her many and sometimes unnecessary trips to the Dollar store. She enjoyed her Sunday school ladies quite immensely and they always stopped us in church to tell us how much she went on and on about us. I always found this kind of amusing because when she introduced us, it was "these are my oldest set of twin grand-kids and these are my youngest set of twin grand-kids and these are my other grand-kids." My sister, cousin and I were part of the so-called others. It bothered me for a long time that she said this. Now, I just think it was more a generational thing than it was something else.

The last time she was somewhat lucid was about the time that I married Brandon. There is a photo I have of her on my wedding day that is almost heart-breaking because she has a blank stare. It was as if she was already gone and in some ways she was. We had known for awhile that she had Alzheimer's, but it was around that time that things really started to get hard.

Now almost three years later, she really is gone.

I have decided that Alzheimer's quite possibly is the worst way to die. I know that if she were lucid, she would have been very upset to know the condition she was in as she was a very proud, independent lady while not educated beyond high school was very aware of the world around her.

While we had plenty of time to mourn her loss, the hardest part of her passing for me was that I didn't get to be there for my dad like I wanted. When my Pappaw passed away, I was only 11 years old. Now an adult, and as the oldest, I feel as though I now have an obligation to make sure my dad was okay. It was also hard because it was Loren and Will's first experience with losing a loved one. As many of you know I had finals this week, so I was unable to go home for the funeral.

Speaking of finals and school, I am very thankful first of all for my husband. He made sure that I stayed focused as he knew that is what my family and I both wanted to happen. He also spent the majority of the day Friday on the phone with my family when I couldn't because I was at school. I am also very thankful that I attend a small school. Everyone last weekend was absolutely wonderful and supportive. I was met with several hugs in the library and I was more than blessed by the friendships I have made.

I am glad that finals once again are over and cannot believe that in a few short months we'll have been here a year. Sometimes I am blown away by how drastically different our lives are from last year to this year. I think sometimes I come across as not being happy with being here in Michigan. I will admit there are times when I really am homesick. Things are definitely done differently up here, BUT I am so glad that we have the friends we have and the church we have as well. In fact, we often wish that we could transplant our church back to Oklahoma when we go home in a few years. There is always something the Lord has for me to hear and I know that is only because our pastor is a willing vessel.

I have spent the past day and a half just enjoying the quiet. I'm currently reading books to keep up my reading speed. I have homework for the first time during a break that I'm not exactly excited about, but oh well, that's part of life I suppose.

I hope all of you are well and happy. I will be commenting on your blogs very soon.

Happy Friday.

6 comments:

Meredith said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma. Two of my grandparents passed from Alzheimer's, and I agree with you--it is absolutely TERRIBLE. Ugh. Again, I'm sorry.

Kat said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost me grandma to Alzheimer's and it heartbreaking. Many hugs to you!

brown eyed girl said...

Again, gf, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. My grandmother passed away about six years ago from Alzheimer's. It was truly, truly a sad experience to see her deteriorate over the years; I just pray that no one else in our family confronts the same fate.

Big hugs to you!!

Lil' Woman said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma...her and your Papaw sounded like wonderful grandparents....big hugs girl! : )

Kara said...

Again, I'm sorry about your loss and so sorry that you couldn't be with family (other than B) during this time.

What the heck is yall's schedule up there at that Yankee law school? I'm so darn confused!

Domesticated-Bliss said...

Alzheimer's is a thief that robs familys of precious time with their loved ones, at least your Granny is reunited in Heaven with your Pawpaw.

Glad to hear you survived finals week and welcome back!

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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