Thursday, December 9, 2010

Miracles at Christmas

I am so excited about today's post. God is always at work, but it just seems like humans allow themselves to be more vulnerable to let God do his work around the Christmas season.  One of the most prominent ways God works is through a miracle. I happen to LOVE miracles. Seriously, miracles rank very high on my "Loves of Life" list. Today, my good pal Brit from Living in the Moment is writing about her Christmas miracle. Go ahead and pull out the tissues now.

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Since early autumn, my husband has been asking me what I want for Christmas.

And, without even a moment’s hesitation, I’ve always answered the same thing.

“A baby,” I’d say. “I want a baby.”

Clearly, this wasn’t something I expected Santa to bring me, wrapped up under my tree, waiting for me Christmas morning.

But it was the only thing I really, truly wanted. And I’d have given up every cashmere sweater, pair of diamond earrings, or Kitchen-Aid mixer I’d previously craved to open on Christmases past to get it.

My dreams of a baby overshadowed everything.

Granted, this was at a time in our year when I wasn’t sure if I’d ever to get to open that gift I truly wanted.

I’d almost convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, I was destined to spend many Christmases with my husband, alone, opening gifts for each other and sipping coffee by the tree leisurely.

No need to be awakened by anxious children at 5 a.m., eager to tear into presents.

No need to feign surprise that Santa had brought them everything they’d asked for, carrying on the magical myth of St. Nick like many parents of yore.

As much as I wanted it, my faith was slowly dying.

It was being crushed by everyday, ordinary, non-Christmas-like feelings of bitterness, jealousy, and anger.

I was sick of no one understanding this need;, I was tired of being ripped at by a world that didn’t get where I was coming from. I was torn up about the fact that I had been left with no one to turn to for comfort. And I hated the thought of another Christmas morning come and gone, with no promise of my own child to teach our traditions to.

Still, a little bit of me believed in something else.

Like a kid holding onto the beautiful naivete that is Santa Claus and Christmas Eve, even when logic and adulthood start to set in and ruin the pure-ness of childhood fantasy, I held out a tiny spark of hope.

And, no matter how non-chalant I’d acted, I’d still have given anything to wake up on Christmas morning and realize I was wrong.

That my miracle had happened.

That maybe, just maybe, ringing jingle bells would cause a stir in my belly, awakening a little baby waiting to meet her mommy and daddy sometime next year.

So even though I began telling my husband about new running shoes I needed, or a set of wine glasses that had caught my eye, I still knew what sat atop my Christmas list.

What would always sit atop my Christmas list.

And then, in October, we found out that I wouldn’t be getting what I’d told my husband I wanted.

My running shoes were too expensive, in light of our new, stretched income.

And I wouldn’t be needing a new set of wine glasses, either. Not for quite some time.

Because our Christmas miracle was coming six months late. In June.

We were going to have our baby.

I was going to be a momma. My husband was going to be a daddy.

Everything I’d ever wanted, as I’d thought, paled in comparison.

My Christmas wish, come true, was better than anything wrapped in a bow under my tree.

It re-affirmed so much in me, too. With that positive pregnancy test, I re-learned what children accept openly, without question, especially during this special time of year.

Because Christmas is indeed a time to remember that nothing is impossible.

Because, as I sit here wrapping gifts under our tree, fighting back the bits of queasiness brought on by Baby, I’m reminded yet again how special life can be.

Because, after all, hope is not stupid. Belief is not silly. Faith is what, in fact, drives all good things forward, blind though it may seem to our reasonable, adult minds.

Christmas, every year, tries to teach us all that.

Miracles do happen. They happen all the time.

Santa can bring joy where there was none before.

A Christ-child was born to a virgin in a humble manger and would go on to save a tarnished world.

My little baby, growing slowly in my belly, pales in comparison.

But it is my miracle. My little present, wrapped up in an invisible bow, which brought back my Christmas spirit.

It’s why I cry every time I hear Amy Grant’s “Breath of Heaven,” from her first Christmas album.

It’s why I’ve spent more than I intended to on Christmas presents this year.

It’s why I smile at my husband and say, joyfully, “You know, this will be our last Christmas, just the two of us, for a long, long time.”

Because miracles do happen. They happen all the time.

They are stronger than the almighty dollar, the world of logic and reason, and the fear we have when it comes to believing in things we cannot see or understand in the light of day.

Thank you, Christmas, for re-affirming in me once again the power of faith.

And for giving me the ability to believe in miracles.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

11 comments:

Brittany said...

*tear* great job Brittany!! You put into words everything I've been feeling! I'm so happy you finally get your miracle baby!!!

lessonsinlifeandlight said...

I love that we're both getting our belated Christmas miracles! So fun and I love sharing all these moments with you.

Natalie said...

This post brought me to tears Brittany! Truth be told, a baby is what I want for Christmas but my husband is just not there yet. With 1 pregnant friend, 2 pregnant SIL's and another friend actively trying, I have become bitter, jealous and angry. You reminded me that I just need to be patient because my time will come. So I am holding out for my miracle, it will happen someday, hopefully sooner than later :)

Sare said...

Oh Brittany - Thank you. I needed this so much today. I can't stop crying. I'm so happy for you!!!!

Kelly V. said...

I am (still) so happy for you & your Christmas miracle! This summer will be like Christmas when the baby arrives :)

great post.

Lucy Marie said...

So happy for you, love. Merry Christmas to you THREE!

Brittany said...

I am just still so happy for you Brittany!

garden state prep said...

This post is just fantastic! At the risk of sounding cliche, it really captures the spirit of the season.

Sonya said...

Amazing! Yay for Christmas miracles of all kinds!

Caz (The Truth About Mummy) said...

If you were hear I'd hug you right now. That's so beautiful :O) May your life with your little miracle growing in your belly be far more than even you expect. YIPPEE for you :O)

Mrs. Potts said...

What a beautiful guest post!! I love these miracles.

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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