Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Breaking Point

I feel like I’m being pulled twenty different directions these days.

I have so much to do and not enough time to do it.

It makes me sick to my stomach literally to think about it.

In fact, it makes me sick to write this small paragraph.

We’re packing.

We’re planning a garage sale.

We’re trying to get to our yearly check-ups before we leave.

We’re making sure we get the apartment we want.

We’re working on my financial aid.

We’re praying constantly about a job for Brandon.

We avoid thousands of times a day thinking about leaving our family and friends. It is going to be so hard. I don’t think about it at all because if I do, I cry.

We’re still going to work and trying to wrap up school.

We’re going to church.

As you can imagine, this is not good for me. And it is not good for my husband.

And speaking of my husband, you know I got into law school. (Haha. Duh! Really, I know you know.) I sorta feel like my part of the deal is done for now.

(Really, we’re both on this adventure. I know I’m the one that’s going to class, but it’s both of us that will be up there going through it all.)

But we have to get him a job so we can live while we’re up there.

It is stressing him out in a terrible way.

And that is to put it mildly.

I know I blogged about waiting for a miracle just two days ago, but this storm we’re dealing with has been brewing for some time.

I think sometimes when you put on a brave front, it gives permission for Satan to come after a person.

I guess this means that we’re headed in the right direction, but we need some help.
But we’re not getting any.

People keep tugging.

Work still needs to be done.

We’re still moving.

And at some point, we’re going to have to say goodbye.

ALL of these things are tough.

To be gut honest, most of the time it feels like it’s just the two of us and we’re not even gone yet.

We are the ones moving away while everyone else gets to stay here and be with each other and it’s a tough pill to swallow that only two of us actually know what it’s like.

Because we’re living it.

It’s me and my husband.

I can’t explain how lonely this place feels sometimes. Nor can I count the times that we’ve held each other thinking about it.

And yet, “La la la la Life goes on…”

So please pray for us earnestly.

Because we’re at our breaking point.

I’m tired.

He’s tired.

We need some relief.

We both know this is life. And sometimes it's hard. And we're not the only ones dealing with hard situations.

But we just need some relief.

Happy Tuesday.

8 comments:

brown eyed girl said...

Aww, sweets, you guys will perservere through this and come out on top. You're making awesome moves for your life together, and while overwhelming at the moment, this too, shall pass. I'll keep you both in my thoughts.
XOXO

Gina said...

Praying for you. You will make it. Things work out. They ALWAYS do.

Brittany said...

Sending you prayers and best wishes. I hope that you can post some good news soon. I know your time will come. Good things always come when you least expect them.

Lil' Woman said...

Sending prayers and big hugs your way....it will all come together girl.

Domesticated-Bliss said...

I talk about this today on my blog - I was recently in the job market and I'm not sure what your hubby's background is in but maybe I can help?

email me if you'd like: jessica@domesticated-bliss.com

Brittany Ann said...

Oh, hun, hang in there! You know I know how all this feels, but let me tell you, once you get there, it will all fade away! Just focus on you and B! It is both of y'all's journey! That's the most important thing to remember!

praying for you!

Heather said...

Saying a prayer right now!!!

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

Sending you prayers! It is not a good economic situation out there in the "real" world! You can do it though! I know that Brandon is going to find something which will hopefully make things easier!

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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