Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Foggy Mountain Breakdown

Okay so this post really isn't about that song, but it sure is fun to say. Today's post is about my weekend. I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with the women of Sigma Phi Lambda Sisters for the Lord at Falls Creek Oklahoma. I was graciously asked to speak by the Chaplain Traci Coffman. She is doing a wonderful job as such.

The theme was Back to the Future and there is one serious t-shirt headed my way...Delorian included.

It made me miss Phi Lamb in some serious ways. To have the ability to fellowship with other Christian women on a regular basis is something that is very hard to do in my hometown.

When I left the Quah, I left without a single girlfriend to my name for the most part. I had no friends in fact except for the guys that came to the OKC area. I was mad about most people back from my hometown and did everything possible to avoid dealing with it in every shape and form. I joined Phi Lamb officially my sophomore year of college and stayed active throughout the remainder of my time at OU. It was the best organization that I was a part of without a doubt. I met so many girls that taught me how to have a good friendship and what it meant and means to be a good friend. Eventually we graduated and moved on to our separate ways. I am very happy for and proud of my friends because most are living out their dream/destiny.

I however am still waiting to know what my next step in life is going to be. Brandon and I decided to move back to Small Town, Oklahoma so that Brandon could have a chance to graduate college. He is doing very well and now spends his time wishing he was done with college. I am still waiting to hear back about law school and working at the same time.

In the past year we have yet to make any solid friendships in Small Town, Oklahoma. Part of the problem is that we make friends with couples now...not just one person. And don't get me wrong, we both like each other's friends from college, but being married is different. Well let me say that being married and being back in Small Town, Oklahoma is different. If you had asked me what I would be doing after I graduated college, being in Small Town, Oklahoma would not have been an option. In fact, I didn't even consider it until my job offer came. I had always planned in the back of my mind that I would just be visiting Small Town, Oklahoma for the rest of my life. I NEVER and I mean NEVER planned to live here even if only for a short time.

Okay so that is struggle one. For the most part it is still a major struggle because I do not want anything to do with those people from high school. In fact, on several occasions I have jumped into aisles at Wal-Mart to avoid people that made my life a living hell. And these people seem to be my only option. I am tired of putting myself out there at church too and investing in people only to receive nothing in return. I only go so far before my "give a dang" is busted. (Yes that is a JoDee Messina song and yes she says a different word.)

I am tired of waiting for the next step in my life and have told God this on several occasions.

This weekend one of the other former Chaplains challenged us to lay our entire body on the altar. If we had something that was holding us back, we needed to reconcile ourselves with God about that issue. For the past year I have questioned off and on as to whether I should actually attend law school. I have always known that I should be part of public service. In fact, I feel that I have been called by God to public service. But there is this spot in the very back part of my brain that I let come out on occasion that lets me consider teaching.

So this weekend, I have let God have my plans. This is a very big deal. I know that God has big plans for me and whatever they are, He will roll out when He delivers them. The reason that I am posting on here is because I want some major accountability so when it comes time to make decisions.

So struggle #2 is discerning what God's plan for my life is going to be. I'd really like everything paid for when it comes to law school. In fact, that is one of the only ways that we'd be able to come close to handling it. If teaching is the way to go, then there need to be some serious doors opened to change my mind. PLEASE keep me accountable and PLEASE pray for us. I think that God is about to shake up our world one way or the other.

I suppose that is all for now. Hope you're having a good day.

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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