Monday, June 2, 2008

My Life in Small Town, OklahomaTotally Sucks...

So this is a totally complaint fest post. Bear with me and prepare yourself.

Work...
I'm pretty sure that this is the first time in my life where I have not been in some form of a leadership position in my life. I absolutely hate this lesson of humility that I've been on for the last 5...well now 6 months. Just when I think I am making headway and people are starting to back me, I experience a set back. This is where I struggle the most with the no leadership role. Can I tell you how much I hate the "well everyone has to start somewhere..." statement that everyone always wants to shoot me. I am sick of hearing that. So if that is the line you plan to shoot me, save your breath. And have I mentioned that most of all, I really hate the commute.

Play....
I have realized that there will never ever be another Emily Westbrooks in my life. And it has finally hit me...and it definitely makes me sad. When I go to Norman this fall, she won't be there. Somedays I wish I could make time stand still and that we didn't have to grow up. At any moment, I knew/know that I could have a conversation with her and she would know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't have to try to be something I'm not or do something to get her attention to be my friend. Which are both things that I'm experiencing with people that we've met/I work with. I hate feeling as if I have to compete with someone to get another person's attention. For example, it's like a constant competition to see who can find out what first about someone else in a couple of situations in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a competitive person...when it counts. But friendship is not one of those areas for me. Another thing is that I've been away for the past four and a half years of my life. And I suddenly find my self fighting to fit in in my own hometown. It's like there is this exclusive club and unwritten test you have to pass. Again with the competition, I'm a hatin' it. So for Emily, I am very grateful to you and to all my Norman friends I say the same.

Love...
This is probably one of the most consistent areas of my life. Brandon is absolutely fabulous and takes care of me in more ways that I ever give him credit. And the sex is wonderful. Yes I said it.

So there. This is my life lately....totally crappy...no friends that just like me for me....and the drive to work sucks...but married life is good.

2 comments:

Katherine said...

I can't relate because I'm only home for the summer. I do know that it's been hard for me to be far away from friends and realizing that our superstar friend Emily will be on Broadway, miles away.

As cliche as it sounds, at least we both understand what real friendship (sisterhood) means. So while it bites, not having e'dub and other hot normanites around, we don't have BFFs made of fakers.

I feel like this sounds like I have it all figured out. I don't. I love you and in the end hope you have a better week and that God puts some really cool people in the Quah for you to hang out with.

Sorry for the rambling.

PLBD for life.

P.S. We have a framed picture of Bobby Kennedy hanging in our living room. I saw it the other day and thought of you.

P.P.S. On the Grey's finale: Alex's storyline made me cry, I wish/hope Callie's just going through a phase and will end up with Sloan, Lexi should be with George and I hope Grey and Derek are together for good now!

emmy said...

Work: I'm about to experience the same thing, I'm afraid. You know, we may "have to start somewhere," but people like us rise up a lot more quickly than others. The only advice I can give is what I'm going to have to remind myself: things don't necessarily work on my timetable, but I won't be low man on the totem pole for long.

Play: There sure as hell better not be another Emily Westbrooks in your life. You only have room for one. And I'm immensely jealous because I won't be able to just hop over to Norman this fall. We can just do our PLBD business over the phone, via email and on our blogs. :)

Love: Again, jealous. But that's okay. I just realized that the wrong men love me - they're either gay or 4 years old. So annoying, let me tell you.

I LOVE YOU!!!!

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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
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